1000 words on abortion.

Let’s talk about abortion. No really, let’s talk about it. Everyone else is and just like me, I’m sure you have an opinion. As we discuss this we must remember, our opinion doesn’t really matter. What matters is what each particular woman chooses to do with her body. We will not be discussing incidents that involved rape or incest, because quite frankly if you don’t agree that those women and children deserve to terminate their pregnancy, you’re so far past human compassion we have nothing to discuss. To belabor the point, if you think the 11 year old in Ohio who was raped deserves to now carry her rapists baby- we’re done here. Also, if you say things like ‘the baby could be Einstein or Beethoven,’ I can’t. The baby could also be Hitler or Ann Coulter. 

Why are people so adamant about abortion restrictions lately? Did the #metoo movement scare men so much they had to think of a new way to silence and control women? Did Dr. Ford’s testimony make you think you didn’t have ownership over women’s bodies? (You don’t, but that’s a whole other topic). I’m very aware that some of you have always been concerned and outraged about abortion access but in 2019 it feels so antiquated. Women have always had abortions. Whether through home intervention (resulting in many deaths) or going out of the country or through back alley channels (again, resulting in many death), it’s always happened. To restrict or ban abortion or make it an outright crime is to sentence women to a life of indentured servitude. Sorry, women aren’t here to have your babies and cook you dinner. They have dream and hopes and aspirations that go past that. Now, for some having your babies and making you breakfast is your dream and that’s ok as well. The government and men do not get to decide when women are ready to start a family. It’s a personal and private decision. Roe V. Wade spoke specifically about privacy. Privacy between a woman and her doctor. Privacy between a woman and whoever the fuck she wants to tell. Here’s where the slope becomes slippery. If the state is allowed to tell women to have a baby, are they allowed to tell women they can’t have a baby? Can they tell you, you’re too old to have a baby? Legally you’ve just set a precedence. The state can now tell women what to do. To the women who support this decision, think about that. Think about what you just gave up. The fundamental right to your own body. I wonder if it’ll be worth it. 

Statistics say 1 in 4 women. I can name 12 that I know. I took a friend to get an abortion after her boyfriend of six months beat her unconscious. She was 20 years old. Some regret their decision, some do not. Some had children already, some did not. Each decision was personal and difficult. Now, we all know someone who made the decision lightly and carries no guilt or remorse but guess what? She’s allowed to. I’m tired of pretending that each abortion is coming from some aggravated, soul-searching place. That being said a women making that decision does not deserve your judgement. She deserves your love. She doesn’t deserve a pastor preaching from the pulpit that she is somehow less than because of her decision. That isn’t hyperbole, I’ve sat in church and heard this sermon. 

Now some of you will say but it’s a baby, and every baby deserves to live, it’s ‘gods plan’, blah blah blah. You’ll quote scripture at me, you’ll give a tearful story about hearing the babies heartbeat. First of all, don’t throw scripture at anyone. These pro-lifer’s have cherry picked scriptures that support their own beliefs. What about the scriptures that say men should marry their brothers wife when he dies and ‘raise up seed’ (Mark 12:19), scriptures that say the disabled shall not approach the altar because they are ‘blemished’ (Leviticus 21:18-21) and sexually active women should be stoned to death (Deuteronomy 22:20-21). So, no I do not care if they bible says that God planned each baby from the womb. You’re faith does not dictate another’s person life. For all of your Fox News fear-mongering about countries that force their religion into law, you are really trying to dictate lives by your own book of faith. Again, scripture makes no sense in this conversation and if I hear it from any woman, I’ll politely shut her down with 1 Timothy 2:12 - “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” I am after all a man and you should be silent. It’s this backwards, self-righteous attitude that gets people thinking they can decide what medical attention other people should receive.

Okay, we’ve eliminated the religious response to abortion and have acknowledged that privacy to make your own decision is of utmost importance. What’s left? The money. Oh, if you’re ever curious to see how much people spend combating abortion freedom, google it. It’s millions. 100’s of millions. Wouldn’t that money be better spent funding free easily accessible birth control? If pro-life activists are that concerned with abortions, help girls prevent pregnancies. It’s that simple, right? Statistics show (unequivocally) that when sex education and birth control are accessible, abortions and unplanned pregnancy plummet. See when girls and young women are informed and protected, they can be sexual and safe. Don’t even get me started on abstinence, everyone I know who preached that either had a baby at 18 or had an abortion. Also, don’t discount the coercive nature of sex. It’s not easy to say no to something that feels good, especially if your partner is not particularly keen on slowing things down. 

Listen this is an easy topic for me to discuss, because I’m a guy and I’m gay. I won’t ever know the fear of an unplanned pregnancy. I could sleep with everyone in town and never worry that my life will be derailed, that my dreams and hopes will be shattered because of one sexual encounter but women do worry about this. It’s like we expect so much from young women and girls, it’s no wonder anxiety is at an all-time high. Let’s not add more to their plate by ignoring their sexual health and education. The issue of abortion is about so much more than terminating a pregnancy, it’s about giving women freedom. There is so much more to consider and these sweeping laws will only do harm to young women and girls.